Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Rabbis who like to dress in Bear Costumes
a rabbi is not somebody who people drop by to get advice or get their dose of judaism....
a rabbi is somebody that risks his own life for his fellow Jew.
behold the story of behind a Chassidic melody Hop Cossack!
Kossacks, a group of anti-semites, for fun wanted to take this Jew put him in a bear costume and make him in front of a live bear, and if the Jew refused the Kossacks would just kill him or make a pogrom on the town, but they were gonna make a pogram on the town anyway after bear mauled the jew this was just like a pre-game show for these sickos ... So the rabbi of the town, told this Jew there's no way your gonna go in front of that bear because the bear will maul you, soooo he secretly so the Kossacks wouldn't notice took the Jews place and danced in front of the bear. The bear did not maul the rabbi... and the kossacks got so wasted they started dancing with the rabbi in the bear's costume. And that is where the title of the song is from ... teh rabbi started saying is that the best you can dance kossack c'mon dance dance some more and then the Kossacks all passed out and the Jews were safe at least until next week.
This is a good rabbi.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
A hint of Martial Arts Jewish warriors
For example we have this line from the song of songs: They all hold the sword, skilled in warfare; each one with his sword on his thigh because of fear at night.
What stands out about this is that the swords are not held on his waist but on his thigh. The sheath of the sword is strapped to the thigh. That also means the sword will be pulled out differntly from one that is hung around ones waste, which means as you pull the sword out in battle that the resulting sword motions will be different as well. Also from the line, one can infer that there are two swords one is being held and the other still in sheath strapped to the thigh. So Jewish warriors were skilled in fightign with two swords at once.
other examples of Jewish martial arts, not so subtle, is Jacob's wrestling moves which broke angels hip in a famous contest. The angel if I am not mistake however hurt one of Jacob's nerves in his leg so we have nerve pressure techniques as well
Song of Songs most erotic passages made more erotic
the girl says: His left hand was under my head, and his right hand would embrace me.
lets think about this for a second, how can a guy put his hand under a girl's head, you can put it under her chin but that is not what the line says-- it says under her head. The only way that this is possible is for the guy to put his hand on the female's genitals-pereneuim-anus. That is truly under her head. Furthermore, i know from jewish mysticism that there is one and only one direct line from the keter which stands for the head to something directly under it and that is Yesod or which stands for genitals. So here is one sexual technique, men put your left hand on the girls genitals while doing that hug her with your right.
the girl says: 16. " Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out; let my beloved come to his garden and eat his sweet fruit."
sounds like cunnilingus with total abandon.
okay here is really juicy sequence of events:
the girl says: 4. My beloved stretched forth his hand from the hole, and my insides stirred because of him.
the guy is fingering the girl and it is causing in the girl pleasurable spasming. The word used is insides, which suggests from what I read a g-spot orgasm.
My beloved stretched forth his hand from the hole which is beside the door, and I saw his hand, and the stirring of my insides turned within me to return to his love and to open for him.
visual stimulation the girl sees of her being pleasured starts to send her over the edge. in this case it's the guy's hand pulling out of her pussy. lesson is: keep the lights on.
5. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, and my fingers with flowing myrrh, upon the handles of the lock.
I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh wholeheartedly and with a desiring soul, as one who adorns herself to endear herself to her husband with a pleasant scent.
with flowing myrrh with a fragrance that flows and spreads to all parts.
the girl climaxes her legs spasm wide open, and her upper body lifts up slightly from the force of the orgasm and there's female ejaculation everywhere
6. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had hidden and was gone; my soul went out when he spoke; I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he did not answer me.
this is very cool... let's think about this: where did the guy go he was just there obvously. well he is still there... the girl just had such a huge orgasm she became oblivious to her surroundings! Also the guy is talking to the girl as she hits her oblivious creating orgasm and that makes the orgasm even more intense. note that her soul went out, your soul only leaves you when you sleep which you get back next morning and that's why we say modeh ani, and when you die. Here it is also used to describe the girls earth shattering orgasm, it seems that the idea of orgasm called the little death in french, was found first in an ancient Jewish song. Furthermore the girl says that she calls her lover but he answers not, yet we know he is still next to her, so the only way for her lover not to answer could only be because he didnt hear her. He didnt hear her because her orgasm is so intense she cant make any sounds even though her face is contorted like it is.
the next verses are a bit surreal, since the narrative of the girl continues it is a more mystical descriptions of the female orgasm whose nature is mysterious to all men unless they read those next verses and figure out what they mean. perhaps there is also some sort of hidden instruction in how to give them multiples, definetely it has hidden lessons on why its important to make the girl cum.
now here is the guy describing the girl:
5. Your two breasts are like two fawns, the twins of a gazelle, who graze among the roses.
now why would someone describe a girls breasts as gazzelles? It's obvious as to why we refer to a girl's breasts as melons, because they look like melons. Melons are round so are breasts.
What quality do gazelles have? Gazelles jump, while walking they can bounce! The guy is saying your breasts bounce. And they are bouncing because he is making them bounce.
When we use metaphors for breasts it is in an objectifying way. There are the breasts here am I they look like melons. But the jewish point of view is to treat the breasts subjectivly your interacting with them. So guys: another technique make those breasts bounce.
Now we can better understand the other metaphors for breasts found in the song.
8. This, your stature, is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like clusters [of dates]
dates are things u eat. so where before the guy was gently bouncing the girls breasts now he is nibbling on them. the girls stature is like a palm tree, so apparently she is standing while this is happening.
9. I said: Let me climb up the palm tree, let me seize its boughs, and let your breasts be now like clusters of the vine and the fragrance of your countenance like [that of] apples.
now they are like vines which are grapes which you make wine from to drink .... so now the guy is sucking on the girls breasts. more specifically we have from line this technique: the girls is standing straight, the guy climbs on her and mounts her, and grabs both breasts and sucks on them.
okay girls did u get excited? guys are you in awe?
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Anti-Semitism Explained Finally!!!
It is only tonight that it dawned on me, that the Talmud's conclusion on anti-semitism was not that this problem is too mysterious to figure out and we will never know the answer, the Talmud's conclusion of We shall never know is the answer!
In my previous post I explained that the Jew by existing and being Jewish (fulfilling the mitzvot), the Jew is a connection made in an obvious way to the what's hidden in the world. This is very deep and explains a lot of things. One of which is a fundamental explanation of anti-semitism which I shall elaborate in this posting.
First, anti-semitism has some features which make it quite a phenemona compared to other forms of hate. It's been around for a very very long time, even when Jews assimilate totally into societies, they will still be victims of anti-semitism, anti-semites will do self-destructive things if they think it will aid in eradicating Jews. In the litany of complaints an anti-semite has against a Jew, often included are things which are downright compliments. Put simple the hate that involves hating Jews is the most irrational and inextricable hate of them all.
The key to figuing out where anti-semitism is coming from, is to understand that only a Jew can be the target of anti-semitism. Bear with me if that sounds like circular logic, it's only because once one gets an intuitive grasp of anti-semitism, it's definition becomes it's explanation in the shortest most obvious terms.
First, there are two kinds of effects something can have on a person's mind: conscious and sub-concscious. A person can know why he's doing something, he can be doing something and does not know why, he can even be doing something and thinks he knows why but unknown to him he's doing it for completely different reasons. Furthermore, the person also has , for lack of a better term, receptors that are receptors for conscious influences and sub-conscious influences. Do not under-estimate what subconscious things can do, I read a book that pin pointed the sub-conscious reason why punk rockers wore long hair and painted their fingernails and were skinny, even though they werent aware that's why they were doing it. That's a light example of course, I like rock n roll.
The Jewish nation because of the way it was created carries out in an obvious manner something that's part of something else that's concealed from the rest of the world. To see the derivation of this, please read my previous post. Therfore, Jews first by their very existence and again by performing commandments, create consciouss and subconscious effects on people. Perhaps mystical may be a better word functionally speaking than sub-consciouss. Because Jews affect the world in a mystical way, they create sub-consciouss effects on people.
Therfore what an anti-semtism rages against is a sub-consciouss effect from a Jew. Jewish people are not even explicitly aware that they have this mystical effect on the world, but because of the circumstances of their creation they do. Non-Jews being part of the world are aware of this effect. And in the case of the anti-semites they hate the Jew and want to destroy him for it. The reason the anti-semite wants to destroy the Jew even if he is just standing there doing nothing is because he is not really doing nothing. It just seems that way. Due to the circumstances that created the Jewish nation, a Jew just by existing is focal point between what's obvious and whats concealed. Due to the conditions of the Jewish people's creation, the Jew cannot exist and does not exist without making obvious what's concealed. Therefore, the anti-semite still gets angry from continuing to feel those subsconscious influences even when a Jew simply exists. The question now is why does he get angry whereas another gentile won't?
That's because of the anti-semites hyper-sensitivity to a jews subsonsciouss effects, backwards as that hyper-sensitivty may be, he sub-consouly realizes where the cause of the Jewish nation's effects. And it is this subconsciouss knowledge that makes the anti-semite.
The anti-semite feels that for a Jew to connect obviousness and concealment he must do it all the time and when he does it even once he is bringing a change on the world. And that is the cause of hatred. Basically, people resist change not because they say change is bad, even though they may say this change is bad; people resist change when they had nothing to do with creating the change. That's why the anti-semite gets so upset because he is upset there is a non-physical change continually occuring in this world, he is always sensitive to it and of all things it's being caused by a flesh and blood human being, and nobody asked him about the change, got his opinion or anythign like that. For example, the rabid anti-semitism of Islam includes a denial that the Jews are the Chosen people. This is because they sub-concious minds hyoer sensitive to the spritual realm realize that a Jew has this effect on the world because his nation was Chosen by God, so the sub-concious mind of the anti-semtic muslim make him deny the choseness of the Jewish ppl.
This is why anti-semtism exists, because a the Jew unwitingly creates mystical changes in the world of the non-Jew and some of those non-jews senstive to sub conscious effect hate it because they weren't asked for input on the matter. This is also why the Sages of the Talmud said the reason they hate us is that we will never know. Because for Jews to become the chosen people there had to be something concealed and hidden.
We cannot prevent anti-semitism because of the way the world is made, but we can prevent incitement of anti-semitism amongst innocent bystanders. Even though the fact that Jewish people are the chosen people is a done deal already for thousands of years, if there was a way to recreate a scenario where there is some plan of action to be determined and an anti-semite concludes let's make these Jews the Chosen people. That can be some sort of therapy perhaps.
It doesn't really matter. The point is that this is why assimilation never works, and for a Jew the most important thing he can do is be a Jew.
Why we make Brochos on Stuff--
which translated comes out like this: Blessed are you, Lord our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us ...
What is this saying? Everything seems pretty self explanatory except for the word sanctified. What does sanctified mean? It means seperated from the rest, in other words- chosen. In effect, when a jew is making this blessing he says: "... God who has chosen us (the jewish people as his chosen people)...".
At this point, after seeing what the word "sanctified" is saying in the blessing, other words in the sentence start looking very obvious where before they were just there. When there is a discovery of newfound obviousness, a secret is not far behind. Onwards to the secrets.
And how did God make this choice-- by giving Jews a whole list of jobs intended for the chosen nation which are known as the 613 commandments. Thus, in effect, when a jew makes this blessing he says almost redundantly: "... God who has chosen us the jews as his chosen nation by giving us commandments and commands us to ....". This almost redundant flavor to the line is a theme of performance, action. This will become significant and help us to justify a mystical trick to tease out the remainder of this secret.
Let's look at the first word of the blessing: Boruch. Here is the mystical trick I spoke of earlier: 1) The letter for B and V can be the same. So from a purely auditory approach, let's change the B into a V. It is typical to find v sound in the beggining of words to indicate "and". 2) The other part of the word boruch, is ruch. That sounds a lot like ruach! Ruach is spirit, as in when you do something in an energetic spirited way.
Let's look at another part of the blessing. Where it says King of the Universe, is actually an inaccurate translation. It is true that in hebrew olam means world and in english universe means world, but their roots are different and this is highly significant.
The root of Universe is latin to turn into one. For a word like that to be even spoken it was in the context of ancient western thinkers trying to come to grips with everything around them. Hence one sees in the latin roots of "Universe", the major technique of Western scientific thought: reductionism leading unification. Thanks to Aryeh Kaplan for this insight.
The root of Olam is to conceal! This is completely different. Whereas the english word for world is something that we made understandable to ourselves through finding what it's made out of, the hebrew word for world is something that is hidden to us and concealed.
Now we have a whole new understanding of this simple and often times rushed through line. I gurantee as a Jew, I will never think of making a brocha on a mitzvah the same way again.
When a Jew says the brocha on a mitsvah what he is really saying is. "And in a spirited obvious way I do the jobs given to me by one who rules all that is hidden."
This is super deep. That's why for example, in Torah, in regards to when us Jews put on teffilin God says: ".... and the other nations shall see the name of God is called upon you..".
Because a Jew makes obvious what is hidden! This little insight explains a lot of things about a who a Jew is, what effect a Jew doing a mitzvah has on the world, why if your a Jew being a Jew is important, it explains our reputation as a nation and why our precense elicits a wide variety of responses... because by our existence and by reaffirming our existence by what made us exist, we bring a new game into town.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
New Research on Jewish Secret of Staying Awake
"The Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps" and, I sleep but my heart is awake.
First I located where is found the line, which was new to me at the time, "I sleep but my heart is awake." It was found in Song of Songs. And the connection i found in Rashi's commentary:
2. "I sleep, but my heart is awake. Hark! My beloved is knocking: Open for me, my sister, my beloved, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is full of dew, my locks with the drops of the night."
I shall ponder more on this later.
The Song of Songs
But I humbly put forth the hypothesis that Song of Songs is a sort of sex manual. I remember hearing in a documentary by this woman professor who said this-- man, you could see the glee in her, that there is a mention of cunnilingus. Anybody ever see the SNL skit with Christopher Walken and "Colonel Angus"-- classic.
One of the things I love about the Song of Songs is the story of how it was canonized. There are certain writings that are not God's words like Torah ... for example like the psalms written by King David but they are still holy writings. The same can be said for the Song of Song's, author unknown. The Sages were arguing back and forth whether or not to include the song of songs, arguing back and forth back and forth, then Rabbi Akiva said include it; and that ended the arguments immediately bada-bing, bada-boom. What's grabbed me about this story is that in a argument over very sexual material ... one guy (they were all Sages, so I can say one guy) said keep it and that's that. Perhaps Akiva was in the minority opinion, but perhaps in just this one instance in Judaism, a positive minority opinion is stronger than a negative majority opinion when its about a woman and man having sex.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Just a little thanksgiving
ps isn't it cool how the heart keeps beating, sure all our cell continues to carry out their life processes, boruch hashem, but since we are familiar with mechanincal things like cars and pistons, its amazing to have a pump working 24/7 from embryo all the way through.
and again, thank G-d for all of this-- hey it's thanksgiving right why not... every day man every day.
Somethings are really amazing like how the our bodies work mortal that we are nonetheless. And a hot girl.
Hot women reinforce my faith in God.
Who knows what tomorrow holds, so post my friends, be merry and post.
Is there a connection? how to go all night long!!!!
getting up is such a bitch too ... if your gonna have to go to sleep, then like an aphorism of the bal shemtov get up with celerity as least.
you know there is this great saying: "The guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps." This line from Torah is referring to HaShem, but we should all be able to connect to this aspect of G-d.
"The guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps." how does God do that?
is there a connection to be found in the jewish melody (niggun) of Kol Dodi?
Here is a description& audio of Kol Dodi.
The deeply moving tones of this melody give expression to the significance of this verse, "I sleep, but my heart is awake"
"The guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps."
"I sleep, but my heart is awake"
Is there a secret here? Maybe i should sleep on it! :)
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Alcohol
Who knew one can find a link between the wisdom of Raymond Chandler, mystery writer extraordinaire, and practices of the Jews?
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
Raymond Chandler
And, us Jews get totally wasted on two occasions: Simchat Torah and Purim.
Gotta love it.
Now, can anyone please please tell me, do they still make Smirnoff Vodka in a glass bottles?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Rebbe Research
There is new research-- exhaustivly done by this guy who looked at all the Rebbe postcards in a Judaica store in Crown Heights, myself-- that as the Rebbe gets older a few tefillin wraps on his arm move closer together and to his wrist.
What is this significance of this?
Also important note: I believe the Rebbe is Moschiach. There I said it.
THE X-LUBAVITCHERS
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
ever notice some of thee yarmulka patterns?
they would make lovely bras.
how long do you wear a yarmulka when u dont
yarmulka i take off as i cross into my own block.
If i leave the my favorite rabbis house, i forget i have one maybe for a while but then i remeber and i take it off.
If i leave 770, i wear my yarmulka on purpose all the way home.
Does this make sense to anybody?
Latin tells you what the Chosen People is
Latin sligere, slct- : s-, apart; see s(w)e- in Indo-European Roots + legere, to choose; see leg- in Indo-European Roots.]
legere sounds like legion it would make sense if they were related after all the Roman Legions were the best fighting force in the ancient world, in other words these were men who were “selected” for their fighting prowness so because they were specially selected they were called legions. Let check it out:
[Middle English legioun, from Old French legion, from Latin legi, legin-, from legere, to gather. See leg- in Indo-European Roots.]
yep. Looks like select and legion are related. You can't gather without choosing right? It also indicates in the ancient world there was an explicit connection between choosing something and taking it for yourself, AND away from other things hence to gather.
Also making a choice is an addition to yourself since your gathering, and if your adding to yourself by making a choice then who we are is defined by the choices we make?
Based on select and legion, i think it is quite apt to call the Jewish people the chosen people. They were gathered together and gathered from Egypt and away from any other, where they were selected to become the Chosen People ... hoohah!
Potect Your Guests, How to handle offers
excerpted from here
"that one may refuse an offer by a person of lesser importance, but should not refuse an offer by a great man
Take a circuitous path to my house, in a roundabout way, that they should not recognize that you are entering there."
Which holy object do Jews kiss?
That's a good guess though, b/c one of the answers to that question is a box i put my head on.
And that is how i started looking for jewish secrets in kissing holy objects. I asked myself why do i have a natural inclination which i do act upon, to kiss the teffillin box around one's forehead but not the teffilin around one's arm? Why does that feel right?
What are some other holy objects Jewish people kiss? Mezuzah and Tzitzit.
And it was here that a pattern became evident. Mezuzah and Tzitzit are commandments that are under the classification of "signs". So is teffillin, but what makes the teffillin box on ones head different from ones arm?
The teffillin box on one's arm represent action, but on one's head it represents: NOT action BUT a more abstract quality like knowledge, intelligence etc.
Therefore here is the jewish secret I was looking for: a connection between the concept of something-like-intelligence and signs.
That's as far as I got. Like with many of my hunts for my people's secrets, I can go so far as to show that something is there hidden, worth looking at ... but what it is exactly is still a secret.
Cool Lessons from Chumash
When the angels that destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah showed up in Sodom they got there from departing from Hebron. They were in Hebron in a meeting with God and Abraham that morning. Yet they arrived in Sodom at nightfall. The journey is not that long however. So Rashi tells us one possible explanation is that the angels deliberetaly were late to buy Abraham more time to see if he can change God's mind and save the city. That is cool .... I like that aspect of waiting extra time for that one guy to maybe come through and save the day.
The other cool thing was that one angel was sent to be merciful saving those who deserved to be saved and the other one to deliver the punishment to the wicked ones.
One man operation to save the ppl, and one man operation to destroy the villains... they both traveled together ...
Funny Story on Teffilin
Of course, chassidic philosophy mentions how if the arm is stronger then the mitzvah of putting on teffilin becomes a stronger mitzvah in commensurate. So we heard of the arm affecting teffillin, but the teffillin affecting the arm? Well yes Jews used to wear teffillin in ancient battles, so perhaps it made them better fighters and back then fighting was quite physical, but who heard of teffillin making the arm fit it better?
Also, teh way the teffillin is wrapped around the forearm is very mystical but in the most general description we see for example, in a popular picture of the Rebbe wearing
teffilin, that more of the straps are wrapped closer together near the wrist.
When you use the arm the energy from the force goes through the wrist, and if you move teh arm in an unnecesary ways damage is done to the wrists. So the wrists are important. Is this the connection? To make the wrists stronger spirtually-physically by wrapping more straps of teffillin on them?
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Jewish Sex Duties
Also Jews believe in the phenomena of female ejaculation- it is mentioned in chassidic philosophy.
That's good stuff, and the chassidic philosophy is also good.
Monday, November 14, 2005
The 3 things Mel Brooks mentions
enviorment
education
These 3 things Mel Brooks mentions on why
jews are smart. They all have to do with fulfilling the unique commandments God gave to the Jewish nation.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Mel Brooks knows why Jews are Smart
This is where Mel Brooks quotes Deuteronomy: Think of the names of many modern-day figures most responsible for the intellectual turning points in history - MARX, FREUD, EINSTEIN - and you will find proof of the Biblical verdict: "Surely this is...a wise and understanding people." There simply is no way to deny it.
He then gives three reasons why this is: part of one of those reasons has to do with a personal favorite topic of mine-- sex! Anyway, here is a link to the essay, and I will write more commentary about it later tonight.
More on Teffillin
Teffilin is of huge importance. I personally like this mitzvah a great deal, and not because of my leather fetish. That's a joke. All kidding aside, putting on teffilin is really major. Sometimes the Torah gives the Jewish people commandments with no explanation, but sometimes we do get an explanation of sorts. One of those commandments is teffillin. Putting on Teffilin makes Jews safer. When a Jew puts on teffilin it increases the safety of Jewish people. In ancient times, when Jews had to go to war, they fought with their teffilin on. Also the teffillin is filled with mysticism like a knot in the shape of a Jewish letter.
Monday, November 07, 2005
HE'Brew Beer
"The Chosen Beer"
check them out: http://www.shmaltz.com/
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Torah Explains Jew Smarts
Now although the New York Magazine presents various genetic theories why Jews may be over-acheivers and smarter, however, according the Torah, it is not so much the Jewish people's genetics, but rather it is the
Jewish people's connection to the Torah. For the in the Torah is says, "You should safeguard and perform [the Mitzvos] for it is your wisdom and logic in the eyes of the peoples [of the world] who shall say, 'What a wise and logical people is this great nation.'" (Deut. 4:6).
More On Jewish People and Sex
Teffillin
It is even mentioned in chassidic philosophy, how it makes a positive difference in putting on teffillin when the arm is stronger like from working out.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Ever been to a Chassidic Wedding?
It's a work out. The kicks and footwork kinda resemble martial arts.
You're the Maitre'D
Jewish People & Ovid
"And do not miss the festival of
Adonis, mourned of Venus, and the rites celebrated every seventh day by the Syrian Jews."
-Ovid, The Art of Love, Part One.
This is a very cool line by Ovid. In writing the Art of Love, Ovid, backed by his vast experience, shares his knowledge in meeting women. So if he includes the Shabbat, at least for his time, it's a good way to meet girls. It indicates the Jewish people's open attitudes towards pre-marital sex, yet also the importance Jewish people place on keeping the shabbat.
Pre-marital sex is healthy and as a Jew, I was glad to read that line.
One more thing worth mentioning: the Jewish people are mentioned in ancient works like Ovid, Aristotle, and Longinus and always positivly. We were big players on the scene.